Not Every Cry for Help Can Be Answered

A personal note from a cybercrime lawyer who gave too much



Over the last 9 months, I met a girl — a victim of sextortion. A scared teen with no money, no emotional support, and no freedom to act. Her father watches her every move. Her house isn’t a home. Her trauma runs far deeper than just the crime.

I spent hours — literally hundreds — trying to help her.
The first week? 30 hours.
Then 20. Then 10. Then again, and again, and again.
Over time, it crossed 500 hours. All unpaid. All from my time meant for growing my practice, reaching my goals.


Every time she came to me, her face carried the same expression — panic, fear, tears, and silence. She didn’t act on my advice — not because she didn’t trust me — but because she couldn't. She couldn’t file a police complaint, couldn’t change her SIM, couldn’t visit a therapist, couldn’t even ask for help at home. Everything in her life is controlled. And when you come from a place where even ₹30 a day is all you're given, independence is a fantasy.

And I started to get frustrated. I snapped at her last time — something I still regret. But I was exhausted. Nothing I did was enough.

This Was Not Just a Legal Case

At first, I thought I was helping someone in trouble.
But this was not a cybercrime case. It was something else.
This was deep-rooted trauma — the kind that law books don’t talk about.

She told me she had witnessed her cousin being molested as a child, and the entire family blamed the girl instead of the adult man who did it. That tells you the kind of mindset she grew up around.

Her fear isn’t just about leaked photos — it’s about a lifetime of being silenced.

And Me? I Was Losing Myself

I put aside my own ambitions. I said no to things that could’ve helped my growth — because I felt responsible for her. I started seeing her pain more than my purpose. But no matter what I did, things didn’t change. And I felt like a failure.

Not only did I not bring her peace, but I also didn’t gain any professional value from this. No legal breakthrough. No skills. No case filed. Just emotional exhaustion.

What I Realised (The Hard Way)

This experience taught me more about human limits than law.

  • Not every victim is ready to be helped.

  • Some people are just trying to breathe, not fight.

  • Logic has no place when trauma runs the show.

  • And most importantly — boundaries matter.

You can have a big heart, but it doesn’t mean you burn yourself trying to keep someone else warm.

Moving Forward

From now on, I will help — but with structure.
I'll still listen, but not absorb.
I'll support, but not at the cost of my health or career.

To those working in cybercrime, or law in general: if you've ever felt emotionally drained by a victim who keeps circling the same pain, please know you're not alone. You’re not heartless for feeling tired. You’re human.

I will always respect what that girl went through. But I’ve accepted I can’t be her saviour. That’s not what I’m here for.

I’m here to build something greater — for myself, for justice, and for victims who are ready to act.

If you’ve faced something similar in your legal journey, feel free to reach out or just talk. Sometimes, lawyers carry silent scars too.

#CyberCrime #EmpathyVsBurnout #LawAndBoundaries #RealTalk #Hackvocate 

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